literature

a narrative

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Daily Deviation

Daily Deviation

August 25, 2011
a narrative by *YvesMB caught my eye--and then my ear--with its wonderful use of repetition, rhythm and line-breaks to drive the poem forward. Not only that, the relationship between the narrator, crow, and the father begs to be explored further.
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Literature Text

a crow,
perched on my shoulder,
on my shoulder,
and  soon his crowing,
oh,
his gorgeous crowing
was understood
he turned his head from my ear
so he could point his beak towards a man
catching his gold-haired daughter in his arms,
and turned back to my ear,
to crow,
to speak:

that man, that man over there, over there, over there,
oh,
his is as filled with dissapointment
oh,
as the sea with water,
oh,
look how he drowns;

looking at the gold-haired girl,
a bundle of giggles,
a bundle of giggles,
oh,
in her father's arms,
oh,
I brushed the crow
off my shoulder,
off my shoulder,
and watched him go,
and crow, so beautiful,
and crow, so beautiful,
in someone else's ear,
oh,
I miss him so.
A germ of an idea, needing development, refinement.
© 2011 - 2024 YvesMB
Comments19
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Wow, good one! I want to also add that here narrativeessays.org you can easily find some tips on how to write a narrative. Maybe this could be useful for your future projects